


Hunger Pains

by Daovihi, mlter



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: 'happy halloween!' i say, 3 days late, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cannibalism, Dark fic, Death, Gravedigging, Horror, M/M, Possession, Resurrection, Vomiting, bieran shippers beware, inspired by jennifers body, pulling stitches out, tagged ahead of time, unfinished work
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-01-21 12:41:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21299633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daovihi/pseuds/Daovihi, https://archiveofourown.org/users/mlter/pseuds/mlter
Summary: Death.It is where life ends. Where the story is supposed to end.But for Kieran, it is only the beginning.
Relationships: Kieran Duffy/Arthur Morgan
Comments: 48
Kudos: 72





	1. Chapter 1

An ear-piercing scream cuts through the air.

“It’s Kieran!” Mary-Beth cries out.

Kieran is seated astride a brown horse, in a brown vest, pants, and a light shirt. His hands are positioned above his lap, holding a decapitated head with its eyes gouged out. Blood drips from Kieran’s wounds, staining the saddle and his clothes crimson.

“What the hell have they done to him?!” Arthur shouts in disbelief.

There’s not much time to process what they were seeing, as the O’Driscolls show up at the entrance of Shady Belle and start firing at them. Kieran’s body falls to the ground, forgotten, as the battle begins. 

Bullets fly everywhere. Despite Arthur’s initial shock over seeing Kieran’s corpse, he immediately goes into action mode and forgets about everything else. He needs to protect those who are still alive. He is not planning on burying anyone else today.

So he fights as hard and relentlessly as he can. He tries to check up on everyone, and his heart stops when he sees little Jack running towards his father in the open fire, but thankfully, John picks him up and carries him to safety.

He sees Sadie run directly into the O’Driscolls as she screams. She’ll get herself killed, Arthur thinks. He tries to cover her as much as he can as she moves from one man to another, leaving a trail of dead bodies behind. The fight is over in minutes, but Arthur feels like he has been fighting the whole day.

He forgets for a second, too busy checking if everybody else is still alive. But once he’s done, he walks back to the main entrance, and he sees Kieran’s headless body. In that moment it finally sinks in. He’s gone. Arthur feels a wave of nausea wash over him. It’s a horrible contrast to the image he has of Kieran when he was alive. That sweet, awkward boy who loved his horses. Kieran was kind and happy despite the circumstances, and so different to what Arthur was staring at. Now, Kieran is nothing but the remains of a horrendous act. 

“Mr Swanson…” Dutch calls with a grimace. “Would you take this boy and bury him… someplace near, but… not too near.”

“Of course.” Swanson pants. “Charles, help me with the body.”

Arthur is frozen in place as Swanson and Charles pick up Kieran’s body. Everything around him sounds as though it’s underwater, slow and sluggish, even as the people around him dart about like ants. A hand waves in front of Arthur’s face, breaking him out of his trance.

“You ok?” Hosea asks.

Arthur nods, more out of reflex than to confirm any state of mind.

“Uh, I’m gonna go help bury Kieran. You wanna come?”

“...Sure.”

Hosea picks Kieran’s head up by the hair and walks off, Arthur following without really processing it. All he can see is Kieran’s decapitated head, spilling his blood onto the dirt. God… why would the O’Driscolls do this to Kieran? All Kieran did was tend to the horses. He didn’t deserve to die.

“I think here is good.” Charles says, breaking Arthur out of his thoughts.

Charles and Swanson put Kieran’s body down, and Hosea puts Kieran’s head next to it. Arthur quietly approaches and sits next to Kieran’s body.

“I’ll get some shovels.” Swanson goes back to the house.

“Poor boy…” Hosea sighs as he stares down at him. “It sure is a horrible way to go.”

“Mm.” Charles hums. 

“How… how did they even get a hold of him?” Arthur mumbles.

“They must’ve been pretty close to the house to take him.” Hosea answers. “Or maybe Kieran stranded too far.” 

“Either way, we should get out of this place, and quickly.” Charles comments.

Leave. Arthur knows it’s the rational thing to do after such an attack, but he can’t help but feel it’s wrong. Especially when they’ll be leaving Kieran here. What if they never even get to come back to Lemoyne? 

Arthur shakes his head and tries to suppress those feelings. It’s always like this, and he knows it. Somebody dies and they have to be left behind, it’s just the way it is. Or else, they’ll all be buried next. 

“I’m sorry.” Hosea puts his hand on Arthur’s shoulder. “I know you were starting to like him.”

Arthur blinks away tears and cradles Kieran’s cold head. Kieran shouldn’t be cold. He should be warm, and alive, and laughing as the horses try to steal his hat again, not… this.

“Arthur?”

Arthur’s breath hitches with trapped sobs. As he stares into the hollow pits where Kieran’s bright eyes used to be, Arthur sees more than feels the tears slip from his own eyes and onto Kieran’s lifeless cheeks. A strong arm wraps around Arthur’s shoulders, rubbing his arm.

“He was a good man.” Charles offers up. “He’ll go to a good place. I’m certain.”

Arthur can only nod and try to blink away his tears, but he struggles so hard to not show how truly devastated he feels. He never got to tell Kieran how he felt… god, he never even got to tell him he was sorry for all the shit he put him through. His shoulders start shaking, and Hosea gently takes Kieran’s head from his hands. 

“Maybe you should go back to the house, calm down a little. We’ll dig the grave and call you when we start burying him.” Hosea suggest in a gentle tone.

“I… I want to stay.” Arthur manages to say.

“Alright. You can sit if you want, we’ll take care of it.” Hosea offers, but Arthur shakes his head and wipes his tears off on his sleeve.

“Just gimme a shovel.” He grumbles. It’ll be painful, but helping bury him is the least he can do for Kieran. 

Something long enters Arthur’s vision. Arthur looks up and sees Swanson with the shovels. He must have come back at some point, and Arthur didn’t notice. Arthur sniffles, takes the shovel, and stands up. Then, he stabs into the dirt, pries some dirt up, and dumps it to the side. 

\-----

It’s done. Kieran’s grave is finished. All that’s left is to fill it. Swanson leans on his shovel, pants, and wipes his forehead, while Charles throws his shovel to the side.

“So, uh, anyone wanna say anything before we…” Hosea vaguely gestures to Kieran.

Arthur puts his shovel down and approaches Kieran. He stares at Kieran’s head, then his neck, then back to his head. Arthur moves his head to his neck, then takes out a needle and thread.

“What are you doing?” Charles asks.

“Putting Kieran back together.” Arthur mumbles as he threads the needle. “He deserves to be in one piece.”

“I’ll hold his head in place.” Swanson says as he holds the sides of Kieran’s face, stabilizing it.

“Thank you.” Arthur blinks away tears as he sews Kieran’s head back on.

Once they finish, Arthur feels himself getting choked up again as the moment he’s been dreading is finally there. He has to bury the man he was starting to have feelings for and leave him behind, probably to never see him again.

Hosea is about to ask again if somebody wants to say some words, but Arthur clears his throat and tries his best to hold back some tears.

“I… I’m sorry I couldn’t save you, the way you saved me. I’m sorry for being so mean to you. I hope you can rest now.” Arthur doesn’t even try to hold back his sobs. “If- If you see Sean, tell him I miss him.” 

Hosea pulls Arthur to his chest and hugs him tight as Arthur cries into his shirt. The others join in on the hug, supporting Arthur in his grief. When Arthur’s sobs quiet down, he pushes everyone away.

“Let’s- let’s just- let’s just get this over with.” Arthur wipes his face off on his sleeve. He picks up a shovel and stabs it into the dirt pile.

“You don’t have to do this.” Charles puts his hand on Arthur’s shoulder.

“I need to make it up to Kieran somehow.” Arthur mumbles.

Charles sighs and hands a shovel to Swanson before taking one for himself and helping bury Kieran. The burial goes by in the blink of an eye, and before Arthur knows it, Kieran’s grave is filled.

One by one they all start leaving. Arthur can’t blame them. They must be tired, and there’s more bodies to carry away from the house. But he stays for a long time, crying in silence as he stares at the words that still don’t make sense: “RIP Kieran Duffy.”

The last memories he has of Kieran are him getting drunk with Karen and laughing a little too loudly at her dirty jokes, finally joining in on the singing with the rest of the gang and him calling Arthur ‘Mr. Arthur’ over and over again in that adorable slurred voice of his. 

Why did it have to end this way? Arthur guesses he’ll never understand how this cruel world can be so unfair to good people like Kieran. He finally finds the strength to stand up and he kisses the tip of his fingers before touching the piece of wood marking his grave. 

He walks slowly back to the house, giving himself some time to compose himself before he runs into anybody else. These are tough times, and he knows everyone expects him to be strong, to help them stay strong, even if he feels broken. John is the first person he sees, and him knowing Arthur for so long, he easily sees that Arthur’s upset despite his neutral expression. John says nothing, and he doesn’t ask, he just accepts Arthur’s help to carry the O’Driscoll he was trying to drag away, and for that, Arthur is thankful.

—————————————————————

Despite his best efforts trying to conceal his broken heart, the others notice how sad Arthur is. And they feel the same way, a couple of days have passed already but they all still seem shaken by the memories of that day. Except for Micah, of course, who genuinely doesn’t seem to give a damn about anyone else but himself. Even Bill admits to missing the O’Driscoll boy.

Arthur wakes up late one morning to birds and cicadas singing. He lays in bed for a few moments, contemplating sleeping forever, before he decides not to and gets up. He drags through his morning routine, each action feeling more like a chore than the last. He pauses to rub the sleep from his eyes, then he puts his pants on and-

Several people scream at once. Arthur grabs his guns and bolts out the door as fast as he can. As soon as he’s outside, he goes to the source of the commotion, guns trained on whatever might be threatening his family.

“It can’t be!”

“Am I drunk?!”

“Oh my fucking god!”

“What the hell is going on?!” Arthur shouts as he makes his way through the crowd.

He sees a lone figure, covered head to toe in dirt, frantically looking around. When they spot Arthur, they immediately throw their hands in the air.

“Don’t shoot! It’s me!”

Arthur’s eyes widen as his mouth hangs open. The guns fall from his grip, but Arthur hardly notices. He only has eyes for the figure in front of him.

“Kieran…?” Arthur says so softly he barely hears himself.


	2. Chapter 2

Kieran groans and buries his face in his pillow as the sun mercilessly beats down on him. His head pounds as though someone is playing a drum inside, and his throat feels drier than a desert.

“Fu-” Kieran coughs several times. When he can breathe again, he lifts his head up, opens his eyes, and sees… long, dry grass? “Eh?”

Kieran props himself on his elbows with a surprising amount of difficulty and looks around. He’s in the middle of a field, with Shady Belle not too far in the distance. Kieran himself is, or was, rather, facedown on the ground, sleeping on smushed grass.

The next thing he notices is how dirty he is. He’s completely covered in dirt. He dusts some of it off as best as he can as he wonders what the hell he got himself into the previous night. Once he’s done, he rubs his eyes, trying to adjust to the brightness of the sun above him. He feels awful. He guesses this is the worst hangover he’s ever had. When he tries to stand up, his legs momentarily fail him, and he falls on his knees, holding himself up with his arms just in time before he faceplants on the ground. 

“Uhhgh, shit. Hello??” Kieran tries to call for help, as he feels himself too weak to stand up. He sighs in defeat as he doesn’t see anyone around, they must be all as hungover as him, or still drunk. It takes him an insane amount of time to get up, and once he starts walking towards the house, it feels like each step might be the last before he falls again. He’s relieved to see the others as he makes his way to the house, hopefully someone can get him some water… or carry him the rest of the way. But instead of a warm welcome, he gets screams of terror. 

“It can’t be!”

“Am I drunk?!”

“Oh my fucking god!”

Kieran frantically looks around, trying to decipher what’s going on. Everyone’s looking at him like a pack of wolves, or a monster. Mary-Beth collapses with a dull thud.

“What the hell is going on?!” Arthur cuts his way through the crowd, coming to point his twin revolvers at Kieran

Kieran throws his hands up immediately. “Don’t shoot! It’s me!” He hoarsely croaks, throat protesting with every syllable.

For a moment, all goes quiet. Arthur drops his guns, but he stays still as a statue. Kieran keeps his hands up just in case. He and Arthur stare at one another for several moments, not daring to break the silence.

It takes a moment for it to sink in. Arthur is so scared this is just some crazy dream and that he’ll wake up as soon as he approaches Kieran. But he decides to take that chance. He runs to Kieran and the poor boy keeps trying to tell him it’s him, fearing that Arthur might hurt him, but instead, Arthur hugs him so tightly Kieran can’t breathe for a few seconds. 

Kieran blinks rapidly "Wh-wha...? What? Huh?" 

"God damn O’Driscoll." Arthur mutters. It feels so real, Arthur can smell the dirt on him and feel the softness of his skin, even though he doesn’t feel as warm as before. But he feels so real. Arthur blinks confused and looks up at Kieran, who seems as puzzled as everyone else. “It can’t be true…”

“Wh- what is going on?” Kieran asks. 

Slowly, the others start approaching him, almost all of them muttering in disbelief. Kieran looks to all of their faces, trying to piece together the puzzle before him. He and Arthur don’t let go of one another for one second.

“How the hell are you even here?” Hosea asks as he gets close.

“I… what do you mean?” Kieran unconsciously shrinks into Arthur’s hold. “I wouldn’t- wouldn’t run off on ya.” Then, Kieran remembers what Arthur just called him. O’Driscoll. Kieran reels back, breaking out of the hug. “I didn’t go back to the O’Driscolls!”

“Kieran…” Arthur blinks several times. “You… god, how do I explain this? You were… dead.”

“Uh… what?” Kieran looks at him like he’s crazy, then he stumbles into a possible explanation as he tries to remember the last thing he did. “Ooh, ok, wait, I think I know what happened. I was really drunk last night, I guess maybe I passed out, and you thought I died?” Kieran chuckled but nobody even smiled.

"Kieran..." Arthur says softly, trying to hold back tears. "You came in on Branwen, and... and your eyes were gouged out, and you were headless..." Arthur's voice cracks "I... I buried you." 

Kieran gasps. “No. That can’t be.” His hands dart to his neck, where he feels several thin things stick out just above his crusty collar. Then, he feels his eyelids, and the area around his eyes. There’s something dry clinging to his skin, especially just beneath the eyeballs. Kieran’s eyes grow wide, and he freezes. “No… No. No no no.”

“Kieran?”

“I need a mirror.” Kieran’s entire body starts shaking.

“Hey, it’s ok-“ Hosea reaches for him in a soothing voice.

“No! What-? What happened to me?!”

“Kieran, come on. It’s ok.” Hosea puts his hand on his shoulder. “Let’s go inside ok? Get you cleaned up.”

“Am I a monster or something? Am I going to die again?” Kieran asks as Hosea walks him inside. The others just stare at each other as if trying to make sure everyone is in the same strange reality where a headless corpses can come back to life. 

“Let’s not worry about that, for now.” Hosea says as he grabs a cup and fills it with water. “Drink this.”

Kieran suddenly remembers his parched throat and practically yanks the cup out of Hosea’s hand. He tilts his head back and downs the entire cup in seconds. Then, he hands the cup back. Hosea refills it, and Kieran drinks again.

“Hey, Arthur?” Hosea says.

“Yeah?” Arthur’s voice comes from behind Kieran. Kieran jumps at the sound.

“W-weren’t- weren’t you- weren’t you outside?!” Kieran shouts.

“I followed you in here.”

Kieran presses a hand over his rapidly-beating heart. God, he didn’t even hear Arthur.

“I’m sorry. I know you’re in shock about this whole thing, we uh… we’re pretty much the same.” Arthur sits at one of the couches next to them.

“I’ll get something to clean you up, ok?” Hosea says and leaves to get a bucket of water and a towel. 

Kieran puts his face in his hands, shaking his head as he tries to process the realization that he died. 

“This has to be a nightmare…” He mumbles.

“I hope not.” Arthur mumbles back. Kieran moves his hands away to look at him. “I wouldn’t like to wake up and see that you’re not there anymore, despite how weird this is... I’ve been there already. It was awful every time.”

Kieran stares for a few seconds, feeling touched by Arthur’s words. He never thought somebody would miss him. And Arthur seems like he had missed him quite a lot judging by his expression. 

“What happened to me, Arthur?” Kieran asks again, not exactly expecting an answer.

Arthur sighs. “You remember the party we held to celebrate getting Jack back?”

Kieran nods.

“You got drunk, and at some point, you apparently got kidnapped by O’Driscolls. We didn’t see you for weeks, and then one day, them O’Driscolls sent your body in here on a horse, with your head on your lap, to distract us before they started shooting. We killed them, of course, but…” Arthur frowns. “You were dead. So, uh, me, the Reverend, Charles, and dad buried you. That was a few days ago.”

“Shit…” Kieran runs a hand down his face. 

“I know. I still kind of feel like I’ve gone insane, and I’m imagining this whole thing.” Arthur sighs and stares into the ground with a sad expression.

“You’re not, I’m right here” Kieran touches his cheek, then takes his hand away realizing it’s covered in dirt. “Sorry” He mumbles, and Arthur shakes his head to let him know it’s ok. “Did it really hurt you when I died?” Kieran asks curiously.

Arthur nods and sniffles "Your body, it... it was the stuff to give a man nightmares." 

"...Was it really that bad?" 

"Yeah. I can't even bear to think about it" Arthur rapidly blinks. 

Kieran looks down at his bloodied clothes. "I'm sorry you had to see me like that."

"Oh god, Kieran. It wasn't your fault at all. It's alright"

"Well, I'm sorry you hurt so much."

"I... kind of deserved it I guess."

"What? Why?" 

"I felt responsible for your death... because I saw you stumbling around outside when you were drunk an I didn't go out for you. I should have brought you back inside."

Kieran wants to hug him so bad, but he looks down at his clothes and decides not to. He wouldn’t want to get Arthur anymore dirty than he is after their first hug. "Arthur, I don’t know much about my death, but I don't think it was anyone's fault. Except for them O’Driscolls." 

"I hope we got the first one that killed ya..." Arthur looks down at his hands.

“It doesn’t matter anymore. I’m here. It’s alright” Kieran smiles gently at him.

“I guess... God, I missed you so much.” Arthur sighs.

They go quiet after that. Hosea returns with a large basin of water, a washcloth, and some clothes, and sets it on the table.

“Sorry about the wait. Dutch interrogated me on what happened, and wouldn’t let me leave.” Hosea wipes the sweat off his brow. “Anyway, if you need any clothes, Lenny agreed to let you borrow his.” 

“Won’t Ms Grimshaw be angry if I clean up here?”

“Normally, yes, but... I think she’ll make an exception this time.” For a moment, it looks as though Hosea’s staring at a place far, far away. “I’ll, uh, I’ll grab you something to eat.” Hosea moves to pat Kieran’s back, but stops at the last second. Then, he walks out of the room.

Kieran splashes some water onto his face, then wets the washcloth and wipes himself down. The rag comes away brown, and if Kieran looks closely, he can see a little bit of brownish-red in it. Kieran wrinkles his nose and keeps washing his face until the cloth stops coming away brown.

“Here, you can go change upstairs in my room.” Arthur hands him the clothes Hosea left for him. “Actually, why don’t you take my room? Bet you might want a calm place to rest and I’d feel more calm if you slept indoors from now on.”

“What about you?” Kieran asks grabbing the bundle of clothes.

“It’s ok, I was planning on joining the others outside anyway. I like the company.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. It’s yours.” Arthur nods. 

“Thank you.” Kieran smiles a little at him and makes his way upstairs to Arthur’s, or actually, his new room. He closes the door and drops the clean clothes on the bed. There’s a shaving station next to it, and Kieran spots a mirror. He hesitates for a moment before grabbing it, but he doesn’t look into it for several seconds. He doesn’t know what he might see, but he’s scared anyway. When he finally lifts it and looks at his reflection though, he is relieved to see his face looks the same, maybe a bit paler and the dark circles under his eyes are a bit more prominent, but nothing horrible or gruesome like he expected. Then again, maybe all the dirt and blood made him look worse.

Kieran’s gaze drifts down to his neck. Some dark lines stand out against his neck. Kieran brings the mirror closer as he picks at the lines and stretches them out. Then, Kieran’s eyes widen. That’s string. Those are stitches.

“Holy shit…” Kieran mutters as he puts the mirror down. He sits on the bed as his mind frantically tries to process this new information.

They… they really did stitch his head back on.

It feels like an eternity passes before he decides to stand up and look at his neck again. He grabs the end of one of the little strings and pulls. Slowly, it all starts coming out. It hurts, but he doesn’t want to see them there. Then, he suddenly stops, fearing that his head might fall off if he takes them out. He doesn’t know what to do, so he just cuts the string that’s already out and ties a black neckerchief around his throat, hiding the stitches.

Kieran checks himself in the mirror one last time, then he deems himself presentable and steps out. He goes out the house, dodging Bill and Micah on the way, and then he steps into the sunlight. Everyone looks up from what they’re doing to stare at Kieran. Kieran offers them a nervous smile and a wave before darting to the field where they keep the horses. Right away, he sees Lenny trying to coax Branwen into eating.

“Hi.” Kieran says, just to make himself known.

Branwen’s ears perk up. He nearly barrels Lenny over to run up to Kieran and shove his head into Kieran’s.

“Ha ha ha!” Kieran pets Branwen as he licks Kieran. “You really missed me, huh?” From the corner of his eye, he sees Lenny staring at him, seemingly not knowing what to say. “Hey.” Kieran greets Lenny.

“Sorry… I… I still can’t believe you-“

“I know. It’s weird.”

“But don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you’re back and ok. Especially for him, he has missed you a lot.” Lenny says pointing to Branwen.

Kieran kisses Branwen’s forehead. “You’re a good horsie. Oh yes you are, oh yes you are!”

Branwen huffs and leans into Kieran’s pets.

“So, uh, how do you feel?” Lenny asks.

“Better than earlier, at least.” Kieran shrugs. “Thanks for the clothes. Uh, when do you want these back?”

“You can keep them. I have plenty.”

“Thank you, mister.” Kieran starts focusing his attention back on Branwen. After a moment, a question pops into his head. “You happen to know how I… came back?”

“No idea.” Lenny shakes his head.

“Dang. Uh, did you see… anything strange while I was… y’know?”

“Uh, I saw a dark horse, the other day. That’s about it.” Lenny scratches the back of his head. “And even then, it was dark out, so I can’t say for sure.

“Hm, maybe it’s someone’s horse?”

“Could be, I don’t know.”

Kieran doesn’t think much of it, and after spending some time with Branwen, he tries getting some answers from the other gang members, though he doubts they know much more than he does. He goes to Charles, Javier, John… but nobody seems to know how he came back. He guesses he should just be glad to be alive again somehow and move on, but he just can’t ignore something so strange.

He decides to go back inside to take a break when he runs into Arthur and Reverend Swanson in the living room. Swanson’s eyes go wide at the sight of him, and he clutches his bible close to his chest as he points and yells. 

“You!”

“Yeah, it’s me. I-“ Kieran is interrupted by Swanson screaming at the top of his lungs.

“There’s evil in you! Demons!”

“Wh-?”

“Something horrible is inside you!” 

Arthur sighs and stands up, putting his hands on Swanson’s shoulders. “Reverend. How about you go take a nap? Mm?”

“But the evil-“

“Ahh, it's ok, go on.” Arthur nudges him gently, and Swanson walks out of the room, stealing glances at Kieran.

“What was that about?” Kieran raises an eyebrow.

“Don’t pay any attention to him. He’s been like that since you came back. You know he’s not all right in the head, hasn’t been for some time. Plus, he does morphine for breakfast, so...”

“He seemed... very worried.”

“Well, he helped us bury you. Maybe seeing your body and now you alive messed up with his head more than it already was.” Arthur shrugs.

Kieran frowns. "Guess I can't ask him if he's seen anything..."

“Seen what?”

“Anything strange. I’ve been trying to figure out how I came back.”

Arthur sighs. "I’ve been asking around too... no one seems to have seen anything at all." 

"Uh, Lenny thinks he might've seen a black horse when it was dark. He wasn't sure, though." 

“You think it means anything?” Arthur asks.

“I don’t know really. I don’t see how that could have anything to do with me, but it’s my only clue.”

“Maybe you’re stressing too much about it. Isn’t it better to just let it go?” Arthur suggested. 

“Charles said something like that too... yeah, maybe it is. But I'm still curious...”

Arthur purses his lips for a moment. “How about we get you something to eat, huh?”


	3. Chapter 3

Hosea shows up with a bowl of stew Pearson cooked that day (something with carrots, celery, and pasta shells, but no meat), and though it has never been Kieran’s favorite, this time he finishes the whole bowl, only rejecting a second serving out of shyness. The whole time Arthur stares, still not believing Kieran is sitting right there next to him. He only stops when Kieran catches him, and he awkwardly coughs before trying to start a conversation about everything Kieran missed out while he was gone. Before they know it, the whole day has gone by and Kieran starts yawning constantly, feeling more tired than he remembers ever being. 

"What time is it?" Kieran mumbles as he rubs his eyes.

Arthur checks his pocketwatch. "Only about eight."

"Feels a lot later than that…"

"Uh, you wanna turn in for the night?"

"Nooooo…" Kieran draws out. "I wanna keep talking to you…"

Arthur's cheeks go red against his will. Damn Kieran's sleepy cuteness. "You sure? Cuz we can continue this conversation later."

"Yeah, I'll…" Kieran's eyes drift shut, and his chin tilts forward. Then, he jolts back up. "Wha?"

“You’re already falling asleep.” Arthur smiles, then stands up. “Come on, I'll walk you to your new room.” 

“A-are you sure you want to give me your room? I feel kind of bad taking it.” Kieran mumbles tiredly as he stands up and follows Arthur.

“I told you it’s ok, I don’t want you to be outside for… obvious reasons.”

“You think I'm still in danger?” Kieran asks concerned.

“God, I hope not, but… I don't want anything like that to happen again.”

Kieran frowns. "Still hard to believe I…"

"Yeah." Arthur nods as he and Kieran go inside.

"Feels like something out of a story…"

"No kidding." Arthur mutters. "Every time I turn around, I expect to see your headless corpse."

Kieran shudders.

"Sorry." Arthur says.

They walk upstairs, passing John on the way to Arthur’s room. He briefly nods at them and walks by. Once there, Arthur opens the door and steps to the side to let Kieran in. Kieran smiles a little as Arthur frantically tries to pick up a bit of the mess he has left there. There’s guns, ammo and other gear laying everywhere and he tries to shove it all in the trunk where he keeps his clothes. Meanwhile, Kieran walks up to an old bookcase where Arthur has put some of his personal things, including some pictures and pieces of newspaper. He is drawn to the picture of a pretty young lady, Kieran guesses for a moment it might be Arthur’s mom, but the picture doesn’t look that old.

“I’ll come back later to take my stuff so I don’t bother you every time I need something…” Arthur says, turning around and noticing the picture Kieran is holding. He visibly tenses a little.

“Who is she?” Kieran asks curiously.

“She’s… uh… that’s Mary… she’s…”

Mary. The Mary. Kieran remembers that name. He had heard it before, first from Mrs Grimshaw, who had said that girl didn’t belong with them, and then he had heard Mary-Beth talk about how Arthur had been once very in love with a ‘Mary’. Anyone else that had talked about her only spoke with venom in their voices.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to pry." Kieran mumbles, handing the picture over.

Arthur wordlessly takes the picture and puts it away. Then, he goes back to what he was doing.

"If it makes you feel any better, I-I think anyone would be lucky to have you!" Kieran stutters out, feeling heat rise to his face.

Arthur clumsily drops a box of ammo after hearing those words. He awkwardly clears his throat and crouches to pick up the bullets that came out of the box.

“I- Uh, thanks. T-that’s very kind of you.” Arthur mumbles.

"I'm making things awkward, aren't I?" Kieran wraps his arms around himself and looks away. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, I just wanted to make you feel better, oh god, I'm rambling again…"

"Hey." Arthur puts his hands on Kieran's shoulders. "It's alright. You didn't make anything awkward."

"I… I…" Kieran sighs. "Thank you."

Arthur gives Kieran a small smile that sets his heart aflutter. "Well, I'd best be getting back to, uh… that my neckerchief?"

Kieran automatically reaches up to touch the neckerchief. "I'm sorry, I wanted to cover up my stitches. I wasn't thinking." Kieran moves to untie the knot.

"No no no, keep it." Arthur bites his lip. "It suits you."

Kieran feels his face heat up again and he has to look away. “Thank you.”

“Sure. And uh, anything else you need, just grab it. I’ll leave you now so you can rest, but if you need me, I'll be by the main fire.”

“Ok. Good night, Arthur.” Kieran smiles shyly.

“Good night.” Arthur nods and leaves the room, closing the door behind him. 

Kieran holds a hand to his heart as he slowly sinks onto the bed. That… Holy shit. Did he…? Did Arthur just…? Oh dear merciful god. How did Kieran not combust on the spot?

Kieran kicks his shoes off as he tries to get his heart rate under control. He's all jittery, nerves alight as he mentally replays what happened over and over again. Kieran tries taking some deep breaths and lays down. The excitement gradually dies down, replaced with a warm, fuzzy feeling that makes itself at home in Kieran's heart. Then, his earlier sleepiness catches up to him.

He feels so tired it doesn’t take much for him to close his eyes and start to fall asleep. He feels warm, safe and happy. Also very lucky to have been given this second chance at life. His last conscious thought is that maybe things are finally going well for him for once. 

Then a few hours later, he wakes up with a horrible pain in his stomach and the worst case of nausea he has ever had. Kieran clutches his abdomen as he rolls over in bed. The movement only worsens his nausea, and Kieran only has enough time to stick his head over the edge before vomit erupts from his mouth. Kieran coughs and coughs until the last of the vomit is out, then he coughs more, rooted in place from the sheer force of them.

When the coughing finally dies down, Kieran fumbles for a tinderbox and lights the lamp by his bed. He sits up with a groan and glances at his vomit, wipes his mouth on his sleeve, then whips his head back at the vomit.

His vomit - if he can even call it that - is pitch black, the darkest Kieran has ever seen. Looking into it makes Kieran feel like he's staring into a cold, empty void. And its smooth, shiny surface only unnerves him further.

He still feels sick, and his throat hurts, but the first thing that comes to his mind is that he needs to clean it up right away. He stumbles out of bed, still clutching his abdomen and holding the lamp to try to find something to clean it up. When he finds nothing, he makes his way downstairs, feeling as if he’s moving in slow motion. Nobody else is awake at this hour, but he still sneaks outside until he gets to Pearson’s cart, where he gets a bucket of water and some old rags. 

On the way back, he has to make several pauses as he feels like he’s going to faint, but continues anyway, spilling a bit of water as he struggles to climb the stairs. By the time he makes it back, he feels exhausted, but he gets on his knees and starts scrubbing at the floor. He is horrified to find that whatever came from his mouth only keeps expanding and staining the floor, but he scrubs anyway, hoping it’ll go away. He eventually cleans it all up, after at least an hour of scrubbing. His arms and his fingertips are sore, but he is grateful to see the dark, black stain is now gone. 

Kieran sighs in relief and allows himself to slump against the wall. His hands are filthy, he's exhausted, and he feels like he's starving, but he cleaned the vomit up. He wipes his hands off on the last clean rag he has, then tosses it aside. Several minutes pass before Kieran has the strength to pull himself up, using his bed for support. He's about to fall onto the bed and pass out when his tummy throbs in pain.

Kieran groans and rubs his belly. It growls so hard it makes Kieran whimper from the added pain. Right then and there, he decides to try and find something to eat, if only to ease the pain long enough to go to sleep.

He grabs the lamp and goes downstairs. He crosses the living room as carefully as last time, trying not to wake up the people sleeping there, and makes his way to the storage room next to the stairs. He knows Hosea has set up a cot there, so he opens it as quietly as possible, but thankfully, Hosea is nowhere to be found. He must on guard duty, Kieran thinks. There is a wide selection of canned food and dried meat, but none of it seems appetizing. Even a can of peaches seems disgusting and makes him feel nauseous, he guesses he must be really sick to feel like that about his favorite snack. 

Suddenly, he hears a tiny squeal, and he flinches looking at the floor where a little mouse has fallen into a trap, probably left by Hosea or Pearson. It squirms and squeals in pain as it’s unable to escape. Kieran would usually feel bad for the mouse. After all, the tiny creature seems to be in great pain. But Kieran feels something entirely different, and he’s horrified by it. He feels hungry.

Kieran wrenches his gaze away from the mouse and forces himself to step away, mentally berating himself for even thinking about the poor mouse like that. But he only manages four steps before his legs lock up on him. Before he knows it, he's already grabbed the mouse and is holding it to his mouth. Its blood gives off a heavenly scent, making Kieran moan quietly. His mouth stay open, drool leaking out by the buckets as the mouse squeaks in terror, its thrashing making it brush against Kieran's lips.

Surely one bite wouldn't hurt…

Kieran violently shakes his head and drops the mouse. It scurries away without a moment's hesitation. Kieran watches it disappear behind a crate, then he bends over and pants.

"God dammit…" Kieran leans against the wall. "God dammit!" Kieran slams his fist against the wall.

There’s a cracking sound and Kieran looks up to find a hole in the wall. He yanks his hand away and looks at it, then the wall, then back again, unable to comprehend how he did that, or how his hand is perfectly fine after such an impact.

“Are you ok?” A voice suddenly calls from behind. Kieran flinches and almost drops the lantern.

“Shit!” Kieran pants, looking at Javier with wide eyes.

“I heard a noise.”

“Y-yeah. I’m fine… just uh… just dropped something.” Kieran answers nervously. Javier stares at him and smiles after a few seconds.

“Here for a midnight snack too, huh?” Javier steps inside and reaches for a package of crackers. “I won’t tell if you don’t either.”

“Uh-huh.” Kieran nods, still breathing rapidly. The moment Javier is gone, he steps out of the storage room and goes back to his room. 

Kieran all but drops the lantern on the nightstand, then he collapses on the bed and curls into a ball. His chest shakes as he fumbles for the blankets. By the time he's wrapped up, he's already crying, forcing himself to ignore the pain in his stomach as he desperately wishes this was just a dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dao: when youre trying to go vegetarian but then the meat cravings hit


	4. Chapter 4

Arthur smooths out his clothes and breathes deep, then raises his fist up and knocks on the door. He stands awkwardly as no one answers. There isn't even any noise on the other side of the door to indicate anyone's inside. Arthur knocks again, but there is still no response. Arthur bites his lip and fiddles with his sleeve as he waits. He glances at his watch, and in that moment Kieran opens the door.

"What?" Kieran peers at him with one eye open. His pale, sweaty face is etched in a deep frown as he seems to glare at Arthur. For a moment Arthur regrets having knocked, maybe he woke Kieran up.

“Oh. Uh… sorry, didn’t mean to wake you up…” Arthur says awkwardly. Kieran just stares.

“What do you want?” Kieran asks sounding slightly irritated. Arthur can’t help feeling like there’s something strange about Kieran, especially because of the way he looks.

“Are you ok?” Arthur says noticing the way Kieran’s shirt seems damp with sweat.

“I should probably go back to bed.” Kieran mumbles and starts closing the door.

“S-sorry I just wanted to ask what you’d like to have for breakfast. I just killed a boar and thought you might be hungry...” Arthur hurriedly says before Kieran closes the door. At the mention of food, he opens it again.

"Breakfast?!" Kieran excitedly says.

"Yep. Breakfast." Arthur confirms with a nod.

Kieran immediately steps out and shuts the door behind him. "Let's go."

"Uh, don't you want to get ready, first?"

"I don't care. I want food."

"Damn, you must be really hungry this morning." Arthur comments as he takes Kieran downstairs.

"You have no idea." Kieran smiles a little.

Arthur walks him outside and to Pearson’s cart where the camp’s cook chops small pieces of a freshly-killed boar on the table. Kieran stares transfixed as Pearson chops the meat into small chunks, gathering it all up in his hands and putting it in a bowl.

“Hey Pearson, think I might steal a piece of that? I want to make something for Kieran.” Arthur asks.

“Of course! You killed it, after all. Have as much as you want, there’s more than enough.” Pearson says, wiping his bloodied hands on his apron and grabbing the bowl. “I’ll take this to the pot.”

Arthur grabs some of the meat Pearson left and spears it on some sticks. The action makes blood dribble out of the meat down the stick, and Kieran can only watch as the warm blood stains Arthur's thumb red. 

"Kieran?" Arthur waves his free hand in front of Kieran's face. "You there?"

Kieran blinks. "What?"

"You ok?" Arthur asks, brows furrowed.

Kieran silently nods, going back to stare at the meat.

"You seem pretty out of it this morning." Arthur says as he bends down and sticks the meat near the fire.

“Had some trouble sleeping last night…” Kieran mumbles, then touches his belly as it starts rumbling and hurting again. “How long is it going to take?”

“A lil while, why? Are you really hungry?”

“Mm…”

“Maybe you can have a snack first? Like an apple or something like that. Go check on the cart.”

Kieran nods and Arthur goes back to cooking. Kieran walks back to Pearson’s cart to look for something to eat. When he gets there, his eyes immediately land on the rest of the boar laying on the table. His stomach rumbles again, and he notices a fist-sized chunk of meat Pearson left behind. He hesitantly looks at Arthur, he has his back turned to him. Before Kieran knows it, he’s grabbing the raw chunk and shoving it in his mouth. It’s chewy and not warm anymore, but there’s still some blood in it, and Kieran feels like he never tasted something so good before. He had never felt so hungry either.

He's licking the blood off his fingers when he turns around and sees Bill just... staring at him. All of a sudden, Kieran realizes what he just did and freezes. "Uh... hi." Kieran awkwardly says, hiding his hands behind his back. 

“Did you just...?” Bill gasps in disbelief.

"It's- it's not what it looked like, I swear!" Kieran takes a few steps back. "I was just… uh…"

"You… you know you shouldn't… eat raw meat… right?" Bill stares at Kieran's mouth with wide eyes.

Kieran chokes out some syllables in gibberish before he regains his speech. "It wasn't meat!"

"Then what's that red stuff on the corner of your mouth, huh?" Bill stomps up to Kieran and gets in his face. "Don't tell me that's juice!" 

“Uh, i-it’s just- uh, I ate a-“

“Bill! There you are, I’ve been looking for you.” Dutch shows up, patting Bill on the shoulder. “Leave him alone, we got work to do.”

“He ate raw m-“ 

“Yeah sure, tell me all about it later. I need you now, alright?”

Bill grumbles something under his breath, then speaks up so that Kieran can hear. "O'Driscoll…" He looks Kieran in the eye. "We'll talk later."

Bill turns and leaves with Dutch, leaving Kieran slack-jawed as he stares at the two of them. Why was Bill…? Did Dutch…? What the fuck…?

Kieran frantically wipes his hands on his pants and his face on his sleeve as he tries to hide the evidence of what he's done. He can't let Arthur see him like this. If he sees the blood on Kieran, he might be too grossed out to hang out with him. That would shatter Kieran's heart into a million pieces.

When he goes back to sit with Arthur by the fire, he sees the cooked meat, and suddenly, he doesn’t find it as appetizing. But his stomach starts hurting again, he folds his arms around his torso and bends over a little, trying to hide his discomfort. 

"What's wrong?" Arthur asks.

"Nothing…"

"You sure?"

Kieran nods.

"Ok, if you say so..." Arthur picks up the sticks and holds one out to Kieran. "Here."

Kieran takes the stick, but doesn't do much more than look at it. Arthur furrows his brows as he takes a bite off his own stick.

"It's not poisoned, or anything." Arthur jokes.

"Sorry, I just… I think something I ate yesterday made me sick." Kieran says to justify his sudden lack of appetite.

“Oh, so you’re not hungry?”

“Not anymore, sorry…” Kieran apologizes, handing back the stick to Arthur.

“That’s ok, do you feel any other symptoms? Think you might need to see a doctor?”

“Uh… well, now that you mention it, I do feel a bit dizzy… I think I might need to lay down for a bit.” 

Arthur nods in understanding. "Think you can get back to your room on your own?"

"Don't think I need to, I just… need to rest a while." Kieran lays down on his back.

"Okay. You, uh, need a pillow or something?"

"Nah. I'm good." Kieran mumbles, already feeling his eyelids growing heavy. He feels the cool grass and dirt seep the warmth from his body, leaving him pleasantly cool as he rubs his belly.

He closes his eyes for just a second, and he’s unable to open them again. Everything is dark and silent, but instead of bringing him peacefulness, it makes him feel uneasy. Like he’s being watched.

The hairs on the back of Kieran's neck stand up, and Kieran hears a horse's whines and the sound of hooves on dirt. Kieran opens his eyes to see a pitch black horse above him, staring curiously at him.

"H… hi…" Kieran hesitantly greets the horse. The horse bends down to sniff Kieran. Kieran sits up and slowly raises a hand and pats the horse's muzzle. The horse snorts, but allows Kieran to pet it. "Heh. You're a good horse, ain't you?"

Up until then, Kieran hadn’t realized there’s no one else but him and the horse there. He stops petting it and looks around, realizing that Arthur, Pearson, and everyone else is gone from his sight, and so are the tents and carts around the house. It seems like there’s not even birds in the sky or fish in the river. Not even the mosquitoes, who are usually biting at the skin on his arms and the back of his neck. It’s dead silent all around. Until he hears a whisper behind him. Kieran’s head snaps in that direction, only finding the empty space where the carts used to be and the trees moving silently with the wind. He turns back around to look at the horse, but it has vanished into thin air.

Kieran's breathing speeds up as the whispers grow louder and louder. Kieran covers his ears and shakes his head as his eyes water. Where is everyone? Did they leave? Is Kieran alone? Wait. This is some kind of prank. It has to be.

"Heh heh… you… you got me… you can come out now…" Kieran shakily whimpers. "Hello? Where is everyone?"

The whispers grow so loud they feel like a scream, and yet Kieran can't make out the words.

"Arthur? Mary-Beth? Karen? Where are you?!" Kieran shouts, barely able to hear himself over the torturous whispers. The voices terrify him, and he uselessly tries to scream in an attempt to hear something other than the whispers, but again, his voice drowns with so much noise. He tries again and again until his throat hurts, until he feels like he can’t any more, until he coughs up blood. In that moment, he tries to sit up, finding himself restrained by a couple of arms as muffled voices talk to him. 

“Hey! It’s ok! Shh, it’s ok! Guys?! Guys, he woke up!” The unfamiliar voice calls.

Kieran thrashes against the arms, wildly kicking in an attempt to hit something and loosen them, but all they do is hold on tighter. Something warm clings to Kieran's cheek, and Kieran tries his hardest to shake it off.

"Kieran, it's us!" A soothing, familiar voice calls out.

Kieran looks at the source of the voice, and his watery eyes widen. "Arthur?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dao: eyyyyy happy new year heres my fav part of the rp :)

Arthur's soft blue eyes look down on Kieran with visible concern. He wipes off the sweat Kieran didn't even realize was on his brow, pushing Kieran's hair out of his face as he does so. "It's me. You're alright, boy."

The hands that were holding Kieran back release him. Kieran looks around to find a crowd of people in front of him. It takes Kieran a minute to recognize them as his fellow gang members. Mary-Beth, Karen, Hosea, and Susan are with him, waiting with bated breath. All of a sudden, Kieran realizes he's on Arthur's- no, his bed. Kieran's eyes grow wide when he glances out the window and sees darkness instead of a blue sky.

"Wh-wha?" Kieran sits up and looks around in confusion. "What…"

“It’s ok, you’re ok.” Arthur says, sounding more like he’s trying to reassure himself than Kieran. “You were gone for a while…”

“Gone?” Kieran asks confused, looking at them for an explanation.

“You were unconscious almost the whole day.” Hosea explains. “We were starting to fear you wouldn’t wake up…”

Kieran's eyes grow even wider. "The, the whole day?"

Arthur nods. "We were eating breakfast… well, I was, you were feeling sick, and you laid down and…" Arthur rapidly blinks. "You wouldn't wake up, even though Pearson started banging pots and pans. You didn't even respond when we tickled you with a feather. I… we thought we lost you again."

“I don’t know what happened…” Kieran mumbles, then suddenly he feels his stomach hurt again, as if he hadn’t eaten in days. He only touches his belly as he finds himself strangely unable to tell them he’s in pain.

“Maybe one of us should stay here with you tonight, in case something else happens.” Arthur suggests.

“There’s no need.” Kieran answers quickly, but the strange thing is, he doesn’t mean to. He wants Arthur to stay, he wants to tell them his stomach hurts, but instead he remains calm and insists that he wants to be alone. His body doesn’t feel like his anymore.

“Kieran, we’re worried.” Arthur says.

“I’m sure it’s nothing, and if you don’t mind, I'd like to rest now.” Kieran asks, despite wanting anything but to be left alone.

"I-I could stay outside your door, in case you need anything." Mary-Beth offers.

"At least let me check your temperature!" Susan rolls up her sleeve and brings her wrist to Kieran's forehead, only for Kieran to shove her hand away.

"Leave me alone!" Kieran bites out, screaming at himself to calm down, to get a hold of himself.

"We just wanna help!" Arthur takes Kieran's hand and squeezes it. "What if you pass out again? What if you stop breathing? I…" Arthur blinks rapidly. "I can't lose you again!"

For a moment, Kieran's expression softens, and he squeezes Arthur's hand back. But then he pulls his hand away, and his voice returns to having a somewhat cold tone. "I'll be fine."

Everyone looks at each other in confusion, not knowing the cause of Kieran’s sudden change in mood. But they eventually decide to give him space, Arthur lingers by his side until Kieran directly asks him to go away, breaking Arthur’s heart a little in the process. 

“Fine… but if you-“

“Just go, Arthur.”

Arthur's face falls. "Alright. I'll leave you to it." Arthur walks out, leaving Kieran all alone.

Several moments pass as Kieran lays in his bed. A pressure in Kieran's chest he didn't realize he had releases him, and Kieran pants, moving his hand to his chest. He frantically looks around for someone, anyone. He tries to get up and call for the others, but he's so exhausted and his stomach in so much pain he collapses back onto the bed. Kieran whimpers as his own stomach gnaws at his insides, rendering him nearly paralyzed from the pain.

Something's not right. Kieran needs to find someone, and fast. Kieran tries to shout, but something represses his voice, letting nothing but air out of Kieran's mouth. Kieran internally curses. Looks like he needs to find someone and hope he can tell them what's going on. He fights his own body for so long he feels like there’s no point in trying anymore. He stares at the ceiling of his room, crying in fear of what’s happening to him. Then he hears voices outside his window.

Dutch and Bill ride into camp, letting the others know their little trip went well and asking Pearson for some food. Kieran sits up on his bed slowly, barely realizing he has regained some control of his body. Before he knows it he’s looking out the window to the small gathering around the fire.

“I gotta take a piss, I’ll be right back.” Bill announces before starting to walk towards the side of the house, passing by Kieran’s window. Kieran watches him closely, unable to focus on anything else, not even paying attention to the agonizing pain in his stomach. It’s hard to tell how he makes it out of his room and onto the ground, one blink he’s already there, walking silently behind an unsuspecting Bill. Watching. Waiting.

“Bill…” Kieran calls quietly from behind, startling the poor man and interrupting his stream of piss.

"Jesus!" Bill reels back, half-turning towards Kieran. "What the hell are you doing here?!"

"Just… saw you all alone." Kieran shrugs, with a frown that tugs to the side. "Wanted to offer you some company."

"Yeah? Well, I'm trying to take a piss, so fuck off!" Bill barks.

"Come on, Bill, don't be like that. Let's share a drink." Kieran takes a step forward with a warm, inviting smile. "I'll even let you break into my stash."

Bill looks down. A quick zipper sound comes from him, then he turns to fully face Kieran, cock safely tucked into his pants. "Why are you acting so weird today, huh? And what was that with the meat this morning?"

“Did you... tell anyone about that?” Kieran asks, staring intensely at him.

“Told Dutch, but he wouldn’t believe me…”

Kieran stares and slowly breaks into a smile, approaching Bill as he gives him a confused look.

“I just wanted to get your attention…”

“My what?” Bill asks perplexed.

“I’ve always know you have a crush on me…” Kieran wraps his arms around Bill’s neck, leaning in to whisper in his ear. “I like you too. I… want you.”

Bill's eyes grow wide, before he returns to his regular angry expression. "That ain't funny!"

Kieran flinches back at Bill's volume. He blinks a few times before he smiles again, using his thumbs to massage the back of Bill's neck. "I'm not joking, I promise. I've… I've always thought you were…" Kieran bites his lip and darts his eyes. "Handsome. Manly. So… irresistible."

Bill quietly gasps. His heartbeat quickens under Kieran's palms. "Really?"

Kieran nods. "I've noticed the way you look at me when you think no one's watching. The things you think when I've got my backside to you." Kieran looks away and covers his face for a moment, chest shaking almost imperceptibly before he looks back at Bill, staring straight into his eyes. "I want to do all those things and more!"

Bill's jaw drops as he blushes hard. He lets out a strained choking noise, making Kieran curiously tilt his head to the side. He puts his hands on Kieran's hips and pulls him a little closer, closing his eyes and leaning in, but pulls away before any contact can happen. "You- you serious?"

“I promise.” Kieran says with a smile, then he reaches for one of the hands Bill has on his hips and holds it firmly. “I think I saw a nice secluded spot not far from here… want to go check it out with me?” 

Bill nods immediately, deeply lost in Kieran’s smile and the way he looks at him. He follows him for a moment before he stops in his tracks. “Shit, I think Dutch is waiting for me. I told him I’d be back.” Bill grumbles.

“Are you really going to say no to this?” Kieran asks, raising an eyebrow. 

It only takes a moment for Bill to consider it and decide he can give Dutch an excuse later. "...No. "

Kieran smirks and squeezes Bill's hand. "I knew you'd make the right choice. Come on."

They walk deeper into the forest, leaving Shady Belle behind and going deep into the trees, only guided by the moonlight. After several minutes, Bill frowns.

"You said this place was close."

"It's not too far now." Kieran giggles. "Don't worry, it'll be… it'll be worth the wait." Kieran's laughter grows slightly louder.

"Hey, what's so funny?" Bill lets go of Kieran and crosses his arms.

"Sorry, it's just…" Kieran wills his laughter to calm down. "Nerves, I guess. I'm real excited for this."

That… is surprisingly cute. Then again, it's Kieran. Bill can't help but smile back. He takes Kieran's hand back and squeezes. "So, uh, has it been a while since you've last done this?"

"You could certainly say that." Kieran grins from ear to ear. Then, he suddenly stops. "We're here."

“Here?” Bill asks as he looks around. With how focused he was on Kieran’s flirting, he hadn’t noticed how far they had gotten and how deserted the area was. It was dark and with the trees around them it was hard to see anything beyond Kieran, he couldn’t help but think it wasn’t the most ideal place to have sex. Who knows what kind of things lurked at that hour. “We could’ve just gone to your room… I don’t think this is-“

“Lay down. On your back.” Kieran demands, this time without the smile. Bill can’t deny he kind of likes the bossy tone, so even if he’s still unsure about the location, he obeys. As soon as he’s on the ground, Kieran straddles him, making sure his ass is sitting right on top of Bill’s already hard cock. Kieran looks down at Bill as if trying to fight a smile, then starts opening his shirt rather desperately.

“You just get right to the point huh?” Bill asks with a big smile and his hands squeezing Kieran’s hips. As soon as Bill’s chest is exposed, Kieran runs his nails from his neck down to his belly and surprises Bill with a passionate kiss that leaves him breathless. It’s absolute heaven for a few seconds before he feels a sharp pain on his bottom lip and the taste of copper on his tongue. “Shit!”

Kieran pulls away with a devilish smirk and blood on his lips. He makes eye contact with Bill, then slowly licks the blood up. All of a sudden, Bill realizes he has a new fetish.

"You're real kinky, aren't you?" Bill pants, groping Kieran's ass like his life depends on it.

Kieran chuckles darkly. "What can I say? I just want to… eat you up." Kieran pushes Bill's shirt completely off, fully exposing his torso. Bill reaches for Kieran's belt, but Kieran slaps his hand away. "Not yet. I have a surprise for you."

Bill raises a brow. "What is it?"

“Wouldn’t be a surprise if I tell you, would it?”

Bill huffs but closes his eyes anyway, he doesn’t mind playing along but he’s impatient. With how Kieran has been acting so far, he’s dying to know what Kieran’s going to do next. 

“No matter what, keep your eyes closed.” Kieran says, moving his hips just a little and getting a little whimper out of Bill.

“Ooh fuck. S-sure. Yeah. No peeking. Got it.”

“Count to three for me, will you?”

“One…”

Kieran closes his eyes and inhales deeply, taking in the scent of Bill’s blood as he starts to open his mouth. He keeps going until his jaw makes a cracking sound.

“What was-? Oh, uh, right. Two…”

Kieran keeps going until the cracking sounds start resembling quiet firecrackers. Kieran opens his eyes, and his jaw wider, revealing several large, razor-sharp teeth.

"Three!" Bill opens his eyes with a smile, expecting to see Kieran's kind, adorable face, but instead he sees a monster. "HOLY SHIT!" Bill screams. "WHAT THE FUCK?!"

Bill doesn't get to say much more than that before Kieran bites into his neck, drawing a gush of blood. Bill screams and ineffectively struggles as Kieran laps at his open wound, but soon the blood makes it impossible for him to fight back or even to make a peep. The best he can do is make gurgling sounds and watch in horror as Kieran bites his chest, crushing his ribs in a matter of seconds and ripping a hole inside, where Kieran practically buries his head in to devour Bill's insides. Kieran can't stop, he's never felt so ravenous in his entire life. He knows nothing except for that hunger and the feast before him.

By the time he finally feels satisfied, there’s barely anything left inside Bill’s body, and he has long gone cold. And despite finally feeling full, Kieran still stops to suck the marrow out of his bones, enjoying his treat as he curiously stares down at Bill’s terrified expression, forever frozen on his face. When he’s done, he licks his lips and gets off of him, laying beside him on the grass and letting out a sigh as he closes his eyes. He falls asleep in a matter of seconds and dreams of nothing, finally feeling relieved of his pain. When he wakes up, the first thing he does is scream upon discovering what’s lying next to him.

Kieran crawls away in a hurried panic. "What the fuck?! What the fucking fuck?!" He screams, smearing Bill's blood all over the grass. He stares in shock at Bill’s corpse before looking down at his own body. His chest, hands, everything… it’s all covered in blood. He swallows and he almost throws up when he tastes it on his tongue too. He sobs, not being able to understand what happened, but knowing it was something horrible. He slowly crawls to Bill, to try to get any sort of clue that might help him understand, but he only finds a hollow carcass.

“No no no no no.” Kieran sobs noticing how everything inside him is gone, how it’s all most likely in his own belly right now. “Fuck! Oh god… Bill…”

Kieran's tears land on Bill's lifeless face as he cries his heart out. Sure, he never liked Bill, but he never wanted to do anything like this. Not to anyone. And not to Bill. Hell, Kieran wouldn't even wish this on his worst enemies. But now… Bill's dead. Eaten. Because of him. And Kieran doesn't even remember it.

"This is all a fucking nightmare… god, please…" Kieran closes his eyes. "Please, I want to wake up…" Kieran forces his eyes open, but Bill's cold body still lies next to him. "Oh god… I really…" Kieran sobs into his hands, spreading even more blood on his face.

Kieran has no idea how long he sits there, locked in despair. He still can't process what he's done, can't figure out why he can't remember it. Kieran only stops crying when he runs out of tears, but even then his chest shakes with tiny sobs.

"Fuck… the others are gonna kill me… what do I do?" Kieran breathily mutters once he's regained slight clarity of thought. He looks down at his bloody hands, forcing himself not to vomit. "Okay, first things first, gotta clean up. Can't go back like this."

Lucky for him, they’re not too far from the river, and though he knows how dangerous it is to go there in the dark, he stands up anyway, only hoping he can avoid any alligators that might be around. His legs shake with each step, and so do his hands once he reaches the water. He dunks them and scrubs as hard as he can, trying to get rid of all the blood and even the disgusting pieces of flesh underneath his nails. Then he splashes his face over and over, realizing after a moment that his shirt is as much of a mess, so he takes it off and tries to clean it up as best as he can.

It's an uphill battle to keep his breathing under control. The more blood washes out into the water, creating dark clouds and strings of horrible liquid to inevitably be washed away, the more terror grips at Kieran's heart. People have only just started being nice to him, if they found out he…

Kieran doesn't let himself finish that thought. He pushes more effort into getting the blood out. But no matter how much he scrubs, there always seems to be more. And he hasn't even gotten started with his pants and the rest of his body, either. Maybe it'd be more practical to put the shirt on and go swimming.

But he remembers the alligators and decides not to, but he does end up splashing water all over himself in a desperate attempt to wash it all off. When he’s done, he sits there panting and shaking, trying to remember anything about what he did, but it’s all a big blur. He just knows there’s something very wrong with him.

It might be better for Kieran to just let the alligators eat him. At least he wouldn't have to deal with the knowledge that he…

Kieran's stomach lurches. Kieran leans to the side and gags, bringing up nothing but pain and choking noises. It's like there's a vice around his belly, squeezing painfully hard, but not so much that it bursts and explodes its contents up Kieran's esophagus. Drool freely flows out of Kieran's mouth onto the wet mud, mixing with the dampness from the river water and disappearing from view. When the dry heaving spell relaxes, Kieran coughs and clutches his slightly-swelling belly.

"God… what have I done?"


End file.
